So today we received a difficult phone call. My nan had been rushed into hospital, again, with possible pneumonia or as they thought a little on, her third stroke…
Now.. this isn’t supposed to be a depressing post. It’s a message about communication and about fighting to the death.
The two photos you see below were taken a while back. She was staying at a residential home.. oddly in an area not remotely near to us nor to her home, despite our efforts to bring her closer… shady dealings between social services and certain residential homes.. but that’s a tale for another day.
When she was taken into there, she had been unwell. She was seriously lacking in strength. Yet she kept trying to escape. Once in the hospital, she tried to leave… note to nurses, you might consider putting the bars up on the side of the bed when my nan is in your hospital!
Now anyway.. she’s a real fighter. She’s been in the UK since the 60s having moved from Kenya, where my mom was born. For decades she’s gone about her business, caring for her family, visiting the temple, so on. With no help. So how would you feel if you lose all your strength and can’t do that? How would it make you feel if no matter what you did for independence you always ended up back in that sick bed?
Take time to use what you have while you have it.
Also. It reminds me how important communication is.
Three doctors told me today that the outlook is very very grim. She was out cold all day, until 6pm when she came round, recognised us there.. and tried to tear off the breathing apparatus! Now while we had been waiting, one nurse told me that the last thing to go is the hearing. She recommended I take the chance to say to her any last words I had… now regardless what I actually said the point is this: Think about it, the last thing to go is the hearing.
Communication is vital in any relationship, even when someone you love is dying.
As an aside, I found Psalm 37 in Gujarati on youtube and played that to her while she was unconscious. She’s not a christian, she’s a hindu, but she appreciates what the Bible says.
Eventually the rest of the family came. They are definitely a topic for another day…
edit: She just died (00:54 11th March 2009)
This was originally posted on March 10th 2009.
Thanks
How touching. Photographers, writers and artists appear to express their love and respond to the inevitable demise of their families by creating something beautiful.
My mother was in a coma for a week before she eventually breathed her last. A few hours before, I sketched her as she lay there. My father quietly watched me. That picture now hangs in the hallway, immediately outside my home-office door.
I agree about the importance of communication. Its helps a caring photographer create meaningful images, such as the ones you have included in your post about your Nan here. Thank you for sharing your beautiful images and caring words. xx Elaine